Monday 20 October 2008

Classes for Men

got this one from Carla...and had a good laugh! Thanks Carla!

CLASSES FOR MEN

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

Topic 1 - How to fill up the ice cube trays. Step by step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 - The toilet paper roll: Do they grow on the holders? Roundtable discussion.

Topic 3 - How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

Topic 4 - Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 5 - The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

Topic 6 - Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline support and support groups.

Topic 7 - Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.

Topic 8 - Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 9 - Real men ask for directions when lost. Real life estimonials.

Topic 10 - Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation.

Topic 11 - Learning to live: Basic differences between your mother and your wife. Online class and role playing.

Topic 12 - How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

1 comment:

lytha said...

i like #10! joerg likes #12!

the other day he stared at his dishes after dinner, willing them to fly themselves to the kitchen.

and on sunday he was parallel parking, and there were cars trying to drive by, waiting, and an audience on the sidewalk, and he just couldn't do it - it took 3 tries. it was so funny. i laughed and laughed (pure schadenfreude?) but i didn't mean it to be cruel, it was just such a funny situation, cuz he normally parks perfectly. but with an audience i know how sometimes you lose all ability to parallel park.

during the church service, during a very serious part, i couldn't get the smile off my face, at the memory of his difficulty parking in a spot that was acutally, very large.

thanks for the laughs!